If you say it out loud does it make it more real?

If you say it out loud does it make it more real?

Short answer? Yes.

Whilst sitting in the doctors surgery, awaiting our first appointment to get the baby-on-board ball rolling, it suddenly hit me. We can’t make a baby Bloomer. Something that comes so naturally for so many has evaded us for nearly two years and now we need help.

It’s an odd feeling. You feel a sense of relief telling the doctor what you’ve both been through the last couple of years. You feel a sense of guilt for taking your body for granted when you were 17. You feel defeated for having to resort to medical intervention. But the overriding feeling you leave that surgery with is hope. You hope you have more answers soon. You hope your tests come back fine and it’s just not the right time. You hope nothing is wrong with either of you.

The tests start. The waiting begins. The phone calls come. You start again. It’s a cycle that you can only assume will only end with bad news. Bad news that if you’re not one of the 92% of women who conceive in the second year of trying there is probably something wrong. Bad news that something went wrong with your blood tests and you need to ‘pop to the hospital’ to do another one. Bad news that the blood test can only be done on a certain day in your menstrual cycle so you now have to wait 26 days. It’s hard but you keep moving forward.

So, yes. Saying it out loud does make it more real. But the reality is that it is real, it’s is happening and we’re getting closer to some answers.


Photo credit @aprilhillwriting

One thought on “If you say it out loud does it make it more real?

  1. I’m in the same/complete opposite boat. My body is perfectly happy conceiving a baby, it’s happened a number of times without planning or trying – but it doesn’t seem to like finishing what it started and every time I miscarry my body becomes more and more damaged, as does my heart. My heart is with you and I will be following your blog and hoping it all works out for you 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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